napa

Volvos. Braided leather belts. Penny loafers. Sweaters tied around the neck. This is pretty much what I thought of when picturing Napa Valley. For this reason I wasn't too excited to go. But my preconceptions were wrong and we had a great day.

Monday morning we loaded the family truckster and headed north to wine country. Today was a big day for Allen and Doug, who both enjoy their special juice. I believe we heard them say "this place is like heaven" a time or seven. This is a rough account of the day. And by the way, yes we had a designated driver - Ryan stepped up to the plate.

11am First stop, Domaine Caneros. The place was pretty posh with gardens and a huge chateau. I decided to take it easy and stuck with a pinot noir soda. Pretty much like a lightly carbonated, less sweet, and more expensive Welch's grape soda. Lelaine and others went for a flight of three sparkling wines, one of which we were told goes great with popcorn on a Friday night. Because when you live in Napa, you might as well chug a $50 bottle of booze when sitting on the couch watching a movie.

11:45am Second stop, Sequoia Grove. This was more my speed with no fountains or extravagant grounds. I decided to take the plunge and participate in the tasting. Allen and Doug sweet talked the nice woman working there and we ended up getting our tastings for free. This may have also had something to do with the fact that they spent some cash money and joined their wine club, to which they received complementary pens and they can look down on those of us who have not been invited into their exclusive club (and by not invited I mean haven't passed them a credit card). The wine was really good. Good enough that it made me rethink my opinion of the beverage as a whole. They definitely made a good decision to join this club, as it was probably the best of the day. Most of the group was pretty tipsy after we got back in the car to leave.

1pm lunch. To give the stomach something to absorb the wine, we thought eating lunch would probably be a good idea. We hit Taylor's Refresher, a hamburger stand that was excellent. Rarely do you find a place that excels in every aspect of the meal - burger, fries, and drinks, but they did. Nice lightly toasted bun with a buttery flavor. Meat a little pink in the inside and very juicy. Good fry options, including garlic and sweet potato. And the peanut butter and chocolate shake was one of the best I have ever had. Great way to celebrate Memorial Day.

2pm Third stop, Sterling. Dad recommended this place. It was one of the nicer ones and you took a gondola-like lift from the parking lot to get to the campus on top of a hill. I say campus because it was a series of buildings. The swill they offered for the tastings wasn't my favorite, but the overall experience was great due to the setting for the winery, including a massive terrace where you could relax and have a 270 degree view of the area. Particularly great after you had about forty fries too many and want to sit and take it easy while your stomach mixes and digests the sustenance of the day.

3:30pm Fourth stop, Alpha and Omega. We hit this based on a recommendation from someone at Carneros. The wine was decent, but the place was under construction. Nothing special, but enjoyable. A group of drunk girls on a wine bus - it seemed like they each had about two bottles too many - convinced our host to give us chocolates, which was a nice touch. At this point I had had more wine in the day than I have drank in the past year or so and while still fairly sober it was the last time I could differentiate between anything. Lelaine stayed in the car for this one. She had had a fair amount to drink and was fairly full, so she decided to sit a couple out.

4pm Fifth stop, Beaulieu. Despite the building looking like a Ponderosa, we stopped in. Before committing to the tasting they had a free sample of something that was worse than anything Boone's Farm could come up with. We all shared the sentiment and immediately left. Interestingly we have been told that BV is normally pretty good, so maybe we didn't give it a fair chance.

4:15pm Sixth stop, Peju. The guy running our tasting made this one of the highlights of the day. When we were introduced to him and told he was a rock star, I didn't have high hopes. However, after a couple pretty good jokes I thought he might be ok. Then he won over the group by rapping. When you have been drinking for several hours and a white guy in his 50s wearing a tie begins to rap, including dancing and sound affects to mimic turn tables, you laugh...a lot...then you laugh some more. The guy threw out words like "homeslice" and several others I haven't heard in a long time. Watch the video, particularly around the 1:50 mark, and you will understand. He even tries to sell you his CD after the tasting. There is a decent chance this guy inspires Allen and Doug to quit their jobs, move to wine country, and start their very own tasting show (now that they are members of an exclusive club they can do things like this).

5pm Seventh and final stop, Napa Cellers. This was a different type of winery. Instead of the new age stuff playing at a lot of the places we saw, Napa Cellers, also known as the Wal Mart of Napa, was playing Jimmy Page and the Black Crows. The music was neat. The wine...not so much. I was pretty much wined out but decided to have a few sips anyway. Maybe we should have realized it by the $5 price tag for five pours, but this stuff was bad. Maybe it was as bad as BV, but for whatever reason we stayed. Doug even bought a bottle - and this is after he did 10 different tastings there. He claims it was a mercy buy. I would rather drink hot Mad Dog 20/20 than the stuff they were selling.

6pm On the road. After seven stops, and no sightings of sweaters tied across someone's shoulders, we decided it was time to call quits to another great day in California.